Credit for original song goes to Foxes - Devil Side
I know I'm not a public person generally, and don't be alarmed, this is a feel-good post.
There are people close to me that know some of the challenges I have faced through from most of my teen years until now. I tried a lot of different ways to cope, some worked and some didn't.
The other day I heard this song by Foxes called Devil Side and it blew me apart. Something came alive within me and I knew I needed to hit a turning point. There are too many amazing things coming up in my life right now.
So I made the video I share tonight, I have put out my most brutally honest work on top of this amazing song, and to show you all how a vulnerable moment with me looks, I've recorded the entire live take on film.
This sucked to publish.
Remember everybody, people are allowed to be both happy and sad, nobody should be judged by their bad days, Let those close to you feel safe to be themselves always.
This is the turning point, I have too much in front of me to appreciate to feel like i did again during writing these lyrics.
I hope watching this makes you all take charge, because 'you' are the only one that can save you.
Take care! (Also Click HD)
-- Dan (Ego Toxic)
"I know I act self-destructive in spite of me
It's fighting me
But the anxiety is climbing higher, higher inside of me
And I don't know how to retire it and rewire
for the life of me
I try to be
A half decent member of normal society, but
I'm murdering people that I've never met in my wet dreams
Heads f*cked like a sex scene
This verse got me questioning
Whether me staying alive is the best thing
Or should i get on with the next thing, death seems
to be the solution, I'm eating my final meal
like can you bring me the check please
Graphic attack like a stab in the back
Sometimes I feel like choking your throat
Til your neck bleeds
Give you the best squeeze
Then all of a sudden my vision comes back
And I realise you're only the mirror
I'm watching my chest breathe
I need to get sleep..."
" I've got a secret
Too dangerous for me to keep it
Too embarressed and weak to release it
I'm attacking and battling demons
They hit back and it happens even
When I snap the cycle repeats
And I have to get out of this sequence
Coz it's feebling my appearance
I lie to myself, try to be fine
While I'm declining, I'm dying inside
I should be crying for help
Mixing pills and whiskey
Til I'm high, violent, fired as hell,
Now I'm transpiring, writing lines
That'll lie on the shelf.
Play the game
Til it's checkmate, and i'm dead weight
Raw as red steak, this intense day
Deterioriated my mental state
No more real estate in my head space
I'm a head case, but you still ride,
Even if at times
it's shotgun to my devil side
Even if at times
it feels like I'm not getting by
I'm a keep soldierin,
Holding control, maybe I'll survive..."
