[Lyrics]
He just was in so much pain,
That he, you know, took it out on his mom
and took it out on his dad
and took it out on his siblings
But it is almost like he didn’t feel worthy
because he was rejected
and I don’t know how anybody feels
with having your whole family reject you
He was searching for whatever made him feel like he wasn’t alone and that he wasn’t so different
I know some people will say that, that I treated, maternally took care of him, but I like to think it was more that I was trying to nurture him rather than take care of him. Trying to nurture who he was and get him to, let him do his art let him do his music and encourage him to get better at it, as opposed to trying to stifle it. Or else im not trying to be the mom, im trying to be a nurturing girlfriend, or friend.
[Interviewer]
So who would support him?
Me
[Interviewer]
And what would he do all day while you were at work?
Its kind of funny because sometimes you just sit there and watch tv for four hours and you think he wasn’t creating, but he’d be playing guitar while he was doing that or think of stuff later and then, you know, you’d go out for a few hours you come back and there was a painting on the wall or there’s a big comic strip or whatever he wrote a song, you know, recorded it.
[Instrumental]
He hated being humiliated.
He hated it if you ever thought he was humiliated then you'd see the rage come out.
And so he was also very careful about, and stubborn, about how the way the art and work was presented because he didn’t want to be humiliated.
He’s home
And he comes downstairs and hes in his little whitey tightys, no shirt, barefoot, no pants other than his undies and uh, hairy dong coming out, that’s another thing that I got sick of looking at, and hes standing there naked and I say, "What's that?" and he goes, "It’s the mastercut to my new album, can I put it on the stereo?" And I go, "Yeah turn it up, up! up! up! (because I listen to music really loud) and I look at him and I go, "Oh my God, oh my God." and I almost started crying.
[instrumental]
It just every week it got worse and sometimes he would come home I think to hide, and it was really bad. He started getting sores and he was losing weight and nodding out. I was pretty sure he knew I knew but I decided one time to just confront him and I went up to his bedroom and he was sitting on the side of the bed and he was crying because I just arrived and he knew it was breaking my heart but – yeah I talked to him about it and he bursted in tears and he was just ashamed.
[rest of instrumental]
